치매 부모님이 밥을 먹고도 자꾸 배고프다고 하는 이유

 

치매 부모님이 밥을 먹고도 자꾸 배고프다고 하

제가 즐겨 보는 유튜브 채널에는 치매를 앓는 노부부와 두 분을 돌보는 미혼 아들의 이야기가 나옵니다.

아들은 재택근무를 하면서 부모님의 식사와 약을 챙기고, 집안일과 안전관리까지 감당합니다. 자신의 결혼과 개인 생활도 충분히 누리지 못한 채 두 분을 돌보는 모습을 보면 마음이 먹먹해집니다.

특히 부모님은 식사를 마치고도 얼마 지나지 않아 다시 말씀하십니다.

“배고파.”
“밥은 언제 주니?”
“오늘 아무것도 못 먹었어.”

아들은 분명 식사를 차려드렸지만 부모님에게는 밥을 먹었던 기억이 남아 있지 않을 때가 많습니다.

가족에게는 하루에도 여러 번 반복되는 질문이지만, 치매 어르신에게는 매번 처음 느끼는 허기와 불안일 수 있습니다.

왜 식사한 사실을 잊을까요?

치매가 진행되면 최근의 일을 기억으로 저장하고 다시 떠올리는 능력이 저하될 수 있습니다. 오래전 일은 기억하면서도 방금 식사한 사실은 잊어버리기도 합니다.

일부 어르신은 포만감을 인식하는 능력이 저하되거나 단 음식에 대한 선호가 강해질 수 있습니다. 그러나 밥을 먹고도 배고프다고 말하는 것이 모두 치매 때문은 아닙니다.

식사량 부족, 영양 불균형, 갈증, 당뇨병, 약물의 영향, 불안감과 무료함 등도 함께 살펴봐야 합니다.

가족이 대응하는 방법

“방금 드셨잖아요”라고 따지면 어르신은 음식을 주지 않는다고 느껴 불안해질 수 있습니다.

“조금 전에 맛있게 드셨어요. 간식은 3시에 준비해 드릴게요”라고 짧고 부드럽게 알려드리는 것이 좋습니다.

식사 완료 표시판을 사용하거나 한 끼 분량을 두 번으로 나누어 제공하는 방법도 도움이 될 수 있습니다. 수분 섭취를 확인하고, 건강상태에 맞는 간식을 준비하며 산책이나 음악 같은 활동으로 관심을 전환해 보세요.

물을 많이 마시고 소변량이 늘거나, 많이 먹는데도 체중이 감소한다면 당뇨병 등 다른 원인이 없는지 진료를 받아야 합니다.

무엇보다 가족이 모든 돌봄을 혼자 감당하려 해서는 안 됩니다. 주간보호센터, 방문요양, 단기보호와 요양원 등의 도움을 받는 것은 부모님을 포기하는 것이 아니라 가족과 어르신 모두를 지키기 위한 돌봄의 분담입니다.

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Why Does a Parent With Dementia Keep Saying They Are Hungry?

I regularly watch a YouTube channel that follows an unmarried son caring for both of his parents, who are living with dementia.

He works from home while preparing their meals, organizing medications, managing household responsibilities, and watching over their safety. His workday can be interrupted at any moment when one of his parents calls for him.

Watching him balance employment and caregiving is deeply moving. Caring for one person with dementia can be demanding. Caring for two parents at the same time, without enough rest or personal space, can place an enormous physical and emotional burden on one family member.

One of the most painful recurring scenes is the parents asking for food shortly after finishing a meal.

“I’m hungry.”
“When are we going to eat?”
“I haven’t eaten anything today.”

Their son knows that they have just eaten because he prepared and served the meal. However, the memory of eating may no longer be available to his parents.

For the caregiver, it is the same question repeated many times. For the person with dementia, it may feel like a new and genuine experience of hunger every time.

Why Can Dementia Affect Meal Memories?

Dementia can interfere with the brain’s ability to form, store, and retrieve recent memories.

A person may remember events from many years ago while being unable to recall a meal eaten only minutes earlier. They are not pretending, lying, or deliberately trying to make caregiving more difficult.

If the memory of the meal was not properly stored, the person may sincerely believe that no food was provided.

Changes in the brain can also affect appetite, food preferences, impulse control, and the ability to recognize fullness. Some people develop a stronger preference for sweet or carbohydrate-rich foods. Others may repeatedly look for food or become anxious about when the next meal will be served.

However, not everyone with dementia overeats. Some people lose interest in food, fail to recognize what is on the plate, or develop problems with chewing and swallowing.

A sudden change in eating behavior should therefore be assessed individually rather than automatically attributed to dementia.

Hunger May Have Other Causes

Repeated requests for food can have several possible explanations.

The meal may not contain enough calories, protein, or fiber. An older adult who eats mostly rice, porridge, or soup may feel full briefly but become hungry again soon afterward.

Thirst may also be mistaken for hunger. Older adults may have a reduced awareness of thirst, while dry mouth caused by medication can produce an uncomfortable sensation that they describe as hunger.

Certain medicines, including some steroids and psychiatric medications, can increase appetite or affect blood glucose. Medication should never be stopped without consulting the prescribing clinician, but a new change in appetite should be reported.

Diabetes is another possible cause. Excessive hunger may occur when glucose cannot be used effectively as energy.

Medical assessment is advisable if increased hunger occurs with:

• Increased thirst

• Frequent urination

• Unexplained weight loss

• Persistent fatigue or weakness

• Blurred vision

• Slow wound healing

• A sudden or significant behavioral change

Older adults do not always show the classic symptoms of diabetes. A blood test, rather than symptoms alone, is needed to evaluate blood glucose properly.

Avoid Arguing About Whether They Ate

A natural response may be:

“You just had lunch.”
“I already gave you food.”
“You cannot possibly be hungry again.”

Although these statements are factually correct, they may not reassure a person who cannot remember eating. The person may instead feel ignored, deprived of food, or frightened.

Try responding to the emotion behind the request:

“You had a good lunch a little while ago.”
“I will prepare your snack at three o’clock.”
“Let’s have a drink first while we wait.”

Short, calm sentences are usually easier to understand than a long explanation. The goal is not to win an argument about what happened. It is to reduce anxiety while maintaining safe and appropriate nutrition.

Practical Ways to Manage Repeated Food Requests

Use a visible meal schedule

Place a simple chart where the person can easily see it. Mark breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack times after each meal.

A photograph of the completed meal or a clearly written note may help some people. However, visual reminders will not work for everyone, especially as dementia progresses.

Divide one portion into two servings

Instead of serving the entire planned portion at once, divide it into two smaller servings. If the person asks for food again, the remaining portion can be offered later.

This may satisfy the repeated request without greatly increasing the total amount eaten.

Keep suitable snacks available

Depending on the person’s medical and swallowing needs, suitable options may include small pieces of soft fruit, cucumber, plain yogurt, or another snack recommended by a healthcare professional.

Food texture must be adapted for anyone with chewing or swallowing difficulties. People with diabetes, kidney disease, heart failure, or other dietary restrictions may need individualized advice.

Check hydration

Offer a drink before providing additional food if there is no medical restriction on fluids. Some people interpret thirst or dry mouth as hunger.

People with heart or kidney conditions may have prescribed fluid limits. In those cases, follow the instructions of their medical team.

Reduce boredom and anxiety

Food-seeking behavior may increase when a person is lonely, anxious, or has nothing meaningful to do.

A short walk, familiar music, folding towels, looking at family photographs, watering plants, or another simple activity may help shift attention.

Some older adults may also have past experiences of food insecurity. Reassurance that the next meal will be provided at a specific time can be as important as the food itself.

Observe Patterns Instead of Focusing on One Incident

Keep a short record of:

• When requests for food occur

• What and how much was eaten

• Fluid intake

• Weight changes

• Urination frequency

• Medication changes

• Changes in memory or behavior

This information can help a doctor, nurse, pharmacist, or dietitian determine whether the pattern is related to dementia, nutrition, medication, blood glucose, or another health issue.

Urgent medical help is needed if the person becomes severely drowsy, confused, repeatedly vomits, loses consciousness, or cannot swallow safely.

One Family Member Cannot Carry Everything Forever

The son’s story highlights a reality that many dementia families understand: love does not remove the limits of the human body.

Working from home does not mean that a person can provide uninterrupted care throughout the day. Meetings, deadlines, meal preparation, toileting, medication management, fall prevention, and nighttime supervision can all compete for the same caregiver’s attention.

Anger, exhaustion, or the wish to be alone does not mean that a family caregiver lacks love. These feelings may indicate that the level of responsibility has exceeded what one person can safely manage.

Adult day care, home-care services, respite care, and residential care can share the workload. Using these services is not abandoning a parent. It can be a responsible way to protect both the older adult and the caregiver.

At Garim Nursing Home and Garim Day Care Center, repeated food requests are not viewed simply as difficult behavior. Careful attention is given to meal intake, weight, hydration, medications, memory, and changes in everyday functioning.

The most important question is not only, “How can we stop this person from asking for food?” It is also, “What need or fear might they be trying to express?”

Caregivers Need Care Too

A person with dementia may forget the conversation that just took place. The caregiver, however, carries the fatigue and emotional pain from one day into the next.

Families should not wait until they are completely exhausted before asking for help. Sharing care is not a failure of love. It is often what allows love and safety to continue.

Source references: Korea Disease Control and Prevention Agency, Korean Diabetes Association, and Alzheimer’s Society.

Care Consultation

If your family is struggling with dementia-related eating behavior, medication management, or everyday care, consider reviewing the older adult’s health, long-term care eligibility, and current level of support.

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